I’m still working on “Catching Up with Chemo Part Three:
Europe” but thought I should post a few of the recent developments:
Tests: I just went through another round of tests and things
are looking good: the tumors continue to shrink so the chemo is working! There’s also good news that my heart is still
functioning well, which is sometimes a problem with chemo drugs. In fact, my heart somehow got stronger from when we
first tested it before starting chemo.
Josh calls me a “super villain” because the crazy chemicals actually
made me stronger. If I keep this up,
I’ll be unstoppable!
Chemo: I started the new chemo regimen known as “AC” last week. I’m not going to lie, it totally sucks. I was
doing okay over the weekend while I had steroids in my system, but then things
took a turn for the worse. It’s hard to
describe, but basically I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. And on the verge of throwing up all the time.
And really fuzzy-headed. Last night I
woke up covered in blood and was relieved that it was only my nose. To all of the very sweet people who have been sending me nice messages, thank you. They've been keeping me from dropping into a serious funk. I hope you will forgive me if I don’t get back
to you right away. I’m not trying to be
a jerk, just feeling like I can only do the bare minimum some days. Three more treatments of AC over the course of the next 6 weeks, then I'm done with chemo! Yay!
Mastectomy: Surgery has been scheduled for late
February. Here are some answers to some
of the common questions that I’ve been getting…
Q: If the tumors shrink enough, can you have a lumpectomy
instead of a mastectomy?
A: Despite some earlier hopefulness, it turns out that in my
case, no. The tumors were big and
affected a large portion of the tissue. Since they have to remove all of the
affected tissue, it would not leave very much of the breast. So, my left breast
will be removed entirely.
Q: Why don’t you have both breasts removed?
A: When I was first diagnosed, I was ready to jump right in
and have both boobs lopped off. Get rid
of these ticking timebags, I say! That
was before I met with an oncologist. And
a surgeon. And a radiation oncologist. And a genetic counselor. And a plastic
surgeon. Since I don’t have a genetic
predisposition for breast cancer, there’s no medical reason for having the
right (healthy) breast removed.
Reconstruction: I met with the plastic surgeon at UW Medical
last week and liked her instantly. She’s beautiful and listened to me and I
think we have a good plan. Because I
will be undergoing radiation, I can’t have a saline or silcone implant (failure
rates are really high after radiation).
We’ll remove tissue from my belly. This will leave a 10” scar across my
abdomen, about an inch under my belly button. I’m going to have to get creative
with belly dance costumes! It also means
that, because of the time between mastectomy and reconstruction, I will be
lugging around one boob for about 9 months of 2015. I’m calling it the Year of Big Mountain. I thought I was doing fairly well after
looking at the surgeon’s portfolio of reconstructed breasts. Just a few scars, no big deal, right? But then I managed
to crunch my car in the UW Medical parking garage.
And also forgot to pay the cashier so I caused a traffic jam
when I tried to leave the garage. Apparently I was
a bit distracted.
40th Birthday Celebration: Many of you have
probably already guessed, but we are cancelling my 40th birthday
celebration at the end of this month. We
had a great venue and a caterer lined up, but all of that was before this darn
cancer thing happened. I just don’t have
the time or energy to put together a party this year. We’ll plan a celebration someday in the
future, maybe after I kick cancer’s butt up and down the street.
Life is Precious: As if we need more proof that cancer is
horrible, we lost a friend to cancer recently.
Our friend, Bob, had been fighting for a couple of years and things took
an unexpected turn. On November 29th,
I received a call that he only had a few days to live. By the next morning, he was gone. My heart breaks for his wife (and my dear
friend and dance student), Lani. Friends
for many years, they were married a couple of years ago in Hawaii. A few of us from the troupe went and
celebrated with them as they pledged their commitment beneath swaying palm
trees. My husband, Josh is ordained through the Church of Life (that's another story) and he officiated their wedding. We felt truly honored to be part of their lives. They
were so happy together, and they truly loved each other. They should have grown old together. For Bob, for Lani, for my husband and children,
for my parents, my friends…I cannot lose.
Cancer has taken too much already, I won’t let it take me, too.
Thank you to everyone for your love and support.
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