I’m writing this waiting to go into surgery to put a port in
my chest, so this is just a quick update...
STAGING: My doctor has not officially staged the cancer yet,
but we did receive some good news this week.
Friday’s PET/CT scan didn’t show cancer anywhere else in my body. Woohoo! That means it’s confined to my
left breast and the lymph nodes near my breast and hasn’t metastasized. Such a relief.
TREATMENT: I’m getting a port today and I’m scheduled to
start chemotherapy on August 26, ironically the same day that my little niece
is due to be born. It’s nice to have
something wonderful to look forward to in the midst of all of this! As far as my ongoing chemo schedule, I won’t
know until the screening is complete for the research trial. It will either be once per week or once every
three weeks, likely on Thursday afternoons.
HOW I’M DEALING: This whole cancer thing is pretty
stressful, to be sure. However, I’ve
been getting lots of love and support and that helps tremendously. I also decided to get a tattoo: my first one
(other than the small friendship dot on my hand from my high school days). It’s a big,
beautiful Dungeoness crab who sits on the back of my neck, poised to attack the
stupid cancer cells who are infiltrating my otherwise healthy body. The crab means many things – the Latin for
crab is “cancer” so it makes me feel like I’m fighting fire with fire. I specifically chose a female crab because when I’ve pulled
them from traps, the females are vicious.
They are defenders of their species, and they won’t back down for
anything. They also hold a special
meaning for me and my family, thanks to my wonderful in-laws. So, below
is a poem I wrote a couple of years ago and a photo of my new tattoo. I'm ready to win this fight!!!
Bounty
The world is still, quiet
And we are gently rocking
Above and around it is blue: mountains
and sky
And white: snowcaps and jet streams
We are far from shore and
farther from the city
Waters of jade and emerald
curl around our boat
Dark, opaque, lifeless
But that is a deception.
Wedged between water and sky,
we could believe
We are the only creatures enjoying the pleasures of a
sunny day.
Yet even as the motor roars
to life
Even as we weave rainbows in our wake
We are conscious that the
salt we breathe and collect on our faces
Is only borrowed.
Below us are whole
civilizations
Darting, swimming
Scampering across rocks
Sliding
across sand
Speckled sanddabs, quillback rockfish
Harbor seals, urchins
Limpets,
mussels, seaperch and sharks.
We know this because as we
lift the baskets from the seafloor
To reveal Dungies in our
traps
Evidence of the other world clings to our ropes and pots:
Magenta jellyfish tentacles
Chartreuse eelgrass and kelp
Sunflower seastars of tangerine and plum.
So much life hauled to our
boat
Like the Salish who began
this sea harvest long ago
Back to our ancestors
On the sundrenched shores of the Mediterranean
On the frigid waters of the North Sea
Pull by pull
The wet rope coils at our feet
Until we bring the disoriented creatures to the surface
Measure their size
Wrestle them as they claw
Determine who is worthy of coming home.
I see their tiny eyes
watching us
We are not new foe
We have met over miles
Over centuries
Over generations
Later, we will gorge on tangled
berries
We will light a fire
We will drink wine
We will watch the stars above the
lake
Our bellies full
Our hearts warm
And our limbs ready for sleep.
As I look to the distant
shore while my son sleeps safely in his nonna’s arms
I know
This food
This family
This love
Will sustain us long
after
Our hard
shells are thrown spinning
Back
to sea.
Joy Johnston
July 9, 2012
Beautiful poem!
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