Joy Unplugged...Almost

Five months of chemotherapy treatments have finally come to an end!  I’m so glad to have made it through, and utterly grateful to the many people who held my hand and cared for my family along the way.  It’s great to have a break before having both breasts removed at the end of this month – more on that in a future blog entry.  For now, I just want to get healthy and spend lots of time cuddling my little kiddos.

I would say that I’m footloose and fancy-free, untethered as it were from the thin plastic lines that fed chemicals into the port in my chest.  However, I’m currently at Providence St. Peter Hospital (again) and have been plugged into an IV pump for going on 48 hours now.  To be honest, it’s cramping my style. Fortunately, everyone here at the hospital has been great and I’m feeling better than when I first came in with a fever on Friday morning.  Even the food service, Cascade Cuisine, has been beautifully cooperative this time. (You can read about my previous wheat toast adventures here.) Word on the streets is they’ll let me out today.  Fingers crossed!  So, since I’m on a short leash, I might as well catch up on my blog and tell the happy tale of finishing up chemo.

But first! If you haven’t already bought a T-shirt, they are still for sale! ORDER A T-SHIRT Proceeds go toward the Healing Garden that is being constructed for cancer patients here at St. Pete’s hospital. After being cooped up here for a few days, I can honestly say the need is dire.  As a cancer patient, I would give anything for a dedicated outdoor space on the third floor so I could take a walk, even if I had to drag the IV pump - my "dance partner" - with me. The T-shirt bears a cancer-fighting crab just like the one on my neck, fondly known as Hildegard (more about the crab tattoo here).  If you’d rather donate straight to St. Pete’s instead of ordering a T-shirt, try this link.

Final and Fabulous Chemo Date

Callie, my gorgeous and fierce chemo date.

My last chemo treatment – treatment #16 – was on January 15.  My date for the day was my saucy friend from grad school, Callie.  I’m so proud of her.  She just landed an awesome new job and I’m sure is rockin’ it.  It was so fun to catch up with her.  She’s also the perfect person to hang out with even when I’m not feeling the greatest.  I know with her, there's no judgement.  I could have completely tossed my cookies or broken down in tears and she wouldn't have flinched. She has worked with some of downtown Seattle’s most challenged homeless citizens and she has seen firsthand both how strong and how fragile humans can be. Through it all, she has held onto her compassion as well as her wise and honest take on life.  Let's go on a tangent, shall we?  Once, many years ago, I went to a showing of Wim Wenders’ Wings of Desire where Wim himself introduced the film by talking about his concept of the angels in the movie. He said that angels witness us as we are: our good intentions, our victories, and our countless flaws and failures.  And yet, despite – or maybe because of – our imperfections, he imagined that angels must still care for us and he wanted to convey their unending compassion in his movie. Callie is like a Wim Wenders angel.

Callie and I were joined by a wonderful parade of friends throughout the chemo date.  My Montana uncle stopped by and regaled us with tales of family gossip and bear attacks (a.k.a. “Montana facelifts”).  My uncle embodies the Wild West – he’s true Montana through and through.  He’s a rough-around-the edges tough guy who loves the mountains, Bozeman summers, and dry snow.  He also has a sweet, sensitive side whether he'd admit or not: he has been checking in with me nearly every week since I started chemo. And, despite complaining about the traffic and dirtiness of downtown Seattle, he was on his way to see Itzhak Perlman at the Benaroya.  We all agreed my uncle is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.

My friend Tina and I.  And yes, that might be beer behind us.

My dear friend, Tina, stopped by, too.  Tina and I have known each other more or less since the first grade.  Or maybe second.  I can never get it straight.  Regardless, she has put up with me for a very long time.  I adore Tina and she can poke fun at me like nobody else.  Keeps me humble, at least for a few minutes.  She brought a belated birthday present of very cool beer glasses and other fun tchotchkes.  I of course, had not yet gotten around to sending her Christmas present.  She has always been more thoughtful than me. Anyway, it made me so happy to see her and it was such a nice surprise!  I vowed to find some time before surgery to hang out, and we did!  More on that later.

Also joining us was the lovely and talented Emily. She started as my dance student about 7 years ago and it has been wonderful to watch her grow and become a mom.  I also consider her the Lena to my Ray Donavan, except that I am in no way involved in criminal activity or large sums of money.  I’m more like the NPR version of Ray Donavan, if Ray were to work for small municipalities instead of Hollywood stars.  Okay, it's a total stretch but what I'm trying to say is that I can depend on Emily for anything.  She's a smart cookie, a great problem-solver and a self-starter. And if you don’t know what I'm talking about, you need to get Showtime.  

Erin and Laurie make me smile. A lot.

Rounding out this fabulous chemo par-tay were my dear friends Laurie and Erin.  I hope I am not disclosing too much to say that Erin has been through circumstances similar to what I am going through and the two of them have been invaluable in their support, encouragement, and advice for Josh and me as we go through this together as a couple.  I love them so much.  They completely light up a room when they walk in and my jaw aches from smiling and laughing so much when they are around.  Come to think of it, I have a lot of friends like that.  Man, I LUCKED OUT!  Well, Laurie and Erin are a special brand of lightness and fun and I was very grateful to see them.

My new BFF, the owner of the Beer Authority.
That place is AMAHZING!

Since the last chemo treatment, I had my usual dip into the stormy seas of side effects.  But I emerged really quickly and by day 8, I was feeling pretty good. Over the past few days, I went on a mini beer tour with Tina through Lake City and the Greenwood neighborhood - including a stop by the Beer Authority, fixed a big Italian dinner for my mother-in-law’s birthday, started working out at the gym again, and I even got to see my friend Penny for dinner and a flamenco class.  Then, the fever.  Chemo had to grab me by the ankles and pull me under one last time.  I can’t wait to get out of the hospital and take a shower, maybe go for a long run/walk around Capitol Lake. Take THAT, chemo!  Oh yeah, and I think there is some kind of important sporting competition happening today?  Something involving large men and a funny-shaped ball, perchance?  GO SEAHAWKS!

My niece, Ivy, and I showing off
our glowing noggins with her lovely mom,
Erica, looking on.